Injections, drugs, and ouchies

Oh my Gosh are there so many things to think about when you're a parent. I'll be honest and say there is enough that poor Isabelle was a bit of a test child. I didn't know what I was doing. There weren't enough hours in the day (or night) to research every little thing that popped up, so I just focused on what was most important to me at the time and hoped the rest would be okay.

Well, so here comes baby #2, Squirt, and the first thing I wanted to find out more about was vaccine schedules. To start, I didn't really know a lot about vaccines. I didn't know what they were all for (Exactly. I might have known it was for Rotavirus, but I had no idea what Rotavirus was.) So I went by the recommended schedule for Isabelle and have up until now. I understand there is some criticism on vaccine and vaccine research, but I wasn't very familiar with what it was all about. So, it was time for me to do a bit of my own research.

To start, here is the American Academy of Pediatric 2011 Recommended Vaccine Schedule:

Birth: Hep B

1 month: Hep B

2 months: HIB, Pc, DTaP, Rotavirus, Polio

4 months: HIB, Pc, DTaP, Rotavirus, Polio

6 months: HIB, Pc, DtaP, Rotavirus, Hep B, Flu

1 year: MMR, Chickenpox, Hep A

15 months: HIB, Pc

18 months: DTap, Polio, Hep A, Flu

2 years: Flu (given every year at the start of flu season)

5 years: DTap, Polio, MMR, Chickenpox

11-12 years: Tdap, Meningococcal, HPV (3 doses)

16 years: Meningococcal

I'm going to try to talk about all of this without sounding really negative.

To sum up the arguments against vaccines, they go a little like this. First, shooting antigens, chemicals, and potentially dangerous ingredients into anyone is scary, let alone a small infant. Some vaccines aren't even that necessary based on the severity and prevalence of the disease. To some moms, the reactions (sometimes fatal) to vaccines just aren't worth it. Plus, there are some ethical issues behind many vaccines given today, as well.

Starting from the top, the first problem I discovered was the Hep B vaccine. Hepatitis B is a sexually transmitted virus which can only be contracted via the typical STD route or by sharing of IV drug needles or improperly sterilized tattoo needles. Vaccination programs began for high-risk groups in the 1980's (IV drug users, prostitutes, and sexually promiscuous adults) but it didn't work, since such groups typically don't come in for vaccines anyways. So then it was

decided that it would be best if we

simply vaccinated every single baby, instead of just those babies who needed it. So even though children don't actually need the protection (unless they have a positive hep B mother), doctors figured it was easier to vaccinate young. That's a bad reason for me, so I decided I wanted to postpone Hep B.

Next is the aluminum content in vaccines. I was really surprised to find out that there has been NO research - none, nada, zilch - done on the effects of aluminum being injected at high doses. Doses that in other forms are very harmful. The AAP recognizes that aluminum can cause neurological harm and that aluminum has been seen to build up in even healthy kidneys when HEALTHY people are exposed to even such simple things are IV solutions containing aluminum. The only study done on aluminum toxicity was in premature infants receiving aluminum through IV medications. Those that received IV solutions with aluminum showed impaired neurological and mental development. They were receiving about 500 micrograms spread out over 10 days, so about 50 micrograms per day. So they decided that yes, it is dangerous, but they never even checked with aluminum that is injected directly into your tissues and blood stream (like vaccines). Or in healthy babies. However, that 50 micrograms that seems to be too dangerous for premature infants. . . compare it to the 1,225 micrograms given in EACH round of vaccines you would give your child. Yikes. So, with that info, I decided to alternate the schedule so that Squirt would only receive one aluminum-containing vaccine at a time. Spacing out the vaccines also makes it easier to detect where a reaction came from, should one occur, as well and limiting the pokes and pricks and number of chemicals injected overall.

My next issue came with the use of animal & human tissues in the vaccines. Animal tissues only bother me a tiny bit. Mostly because although they screen these cells for other diseases and infections, there is always the chance that there is an unknown disease or infection in there. For example, between 1955-1963, some of the monkey kidney cells used to the polio vaccine contained a virus called PV-40. PV-40 is known to cause brain tumors, bone cancer, lumphoma, and mesolthelioma. That virus HAS been found in human tumors today and is genetically identical to that found in the vaccines fifty years ago. Also - more recently - in 2010 they found a virus called PCV1 and PCV2. These viruses cause organ failure and death. In pigs. Luckily this, as far as we know harmless in humans (although no research has been done). . . but still. Another familiar one; mad cow disease. We had been using cow tissues for decades before we even knew about mad cow. Could those tissues have been infected? Maybe.

But honestly, although animal tissues freak me out I can put it aside for the benefit of the vaccines as a whole. What scares me more in the use of human tissues. MMR, Chickenpox, Hep A, and Pentacel combo vaccine use the cells from aborted fetuses to grow the vaccine in numerous labs all over the US. Research on the DNA from the fetus cells shows that human DNA can trigger autoimmune reactions. So a person (or baby's) immune system will attack the foreign DNA, and this attack can then turn against the DNA of the person receiving the vaccine. Plus, same-species foreign DNA can actually insert itself into the DNA of the person or child, altering their genetic function. SAY WHAT?! Since all of the vaccines that contain human DNA is either not serious (like Hep A and Chicken Pox) or not common (MMR), I decided they can wait until Squirt and Isabelle are older and can decide for themselves what they would like to do.

And important thing I learned was that although Public schools require a child be fully immunized for entry, it isn't absolute. ALL states allow parents to waive vaccines for medical or religious reasons. (In the case of the human tissues, it is against many religions to abort, so therefore the use of aborted fetus cells is against their religion).

So, what is my [tentative] plan? Here you go:

2 months: DTaP, Rota

3 months: Pc, HIB

4 months: DTaP, Rota

5 months: Pc, HIB

6 months: DTaP, Rota

7 months: Pc, HIB

9 months: Flu, Polio (maybe. It no longer occurs in the US or western hemisphere so. . . dunno)

12 months: Polio (" ").

15 months: Pc, HIB

18 months: DTaP, Polio (maybe)

2 years: Hep B

2 years 1 mth:Hep B

3 years: Hep B

4 years: DTaP, Polio (maybe)

(5-11 years they can decide if they want to get MMR, Chicken Pox, or Hep A or I will have more info by then to decide one way or the other)

12 years: Tdap

13-14 years: HPV (3 doses)

16 years: Meningococcal

Notes from my schedule:

• Requesting HIB without aluminum
• Requesting Daptacel brand of DTaP and Adacel Brand of Tdap b/c they don't use animal or human issues
• Gives only one aluminum-containing vaccines at a time
• Postponing Hep B until 2 years b/c of why I mentioned above
• Beginning Polio at 9 mths (if at all) instead of 2 because it is no longer around
• Leaving vaccines that contain human tissues to a later age or not at all (TBD)
• Flu I will likely only give once during infancy due to their compromised immunity and then stop. I will only give a non-mercury vaccine or nasal spray

As far as Isabelle, I will be going through the shots she has already received, crossing them off my alternate schedule, and proceeding as usual. Not too complicated, right?

Okay. Now it's your turn!

Siblings without Rivalry

Now that baby Squirt is only 20 weeks away, I'm starting to try to prepare everyone for the new arrival. B gets daily lessons on the baby in mommy's belly. I'm already talking about the sleeping arrangements for Squirt with hubs, reading books on vaccinations, and of course getting ready to decorate the nursery. But the very first thing I worried about when the baby came, was how B would do with the addition. So, of course I did some book searches and found a great read: "Siblings without Rivalry" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

I'm a sibling. As is most of the general population. Honestly, I don't really remember any siblings rivalry between me and my brother and sister, but it had to have been there, right? I had heard some CRAZY stories about sibling rivalry, and I just have this irrational fear that my children are going to hate each other and try to murder each other in their sleep.

The first thing that sticks in my mind from the book is how to handle arguments. Even when I taught at the daycare or would see issues arise with my own nephews, I would cringe

because I realized I had no idea how I would handle the situation if it were me. I *hate* that feeling. ("Ughhh. . . Duhhhhh. . . Wadda I do now??") First, it addresses the difference between play fighting and real fighting. If they are play fighting and suddenly Bobby is screaming that Jodi hit him [too hard], there is a general rule in the house that play fighting is okay as long as both kids are playing. If they get hurt, then the book teaches you how to teach them to handle it on their own. (By expressing to each other their feelings and how to play without getting hurt, or to just stop the play all together). When they aren't playing and another child is hitting for a malicious reason, it has you turn your focus onto the child that is hurt independently, leaving the other sibling out of the issue completely. You don't put the other child down, you only talk about the child you are talking to. "That must've really hurt! I bet you get frustrated when you are trying to do something and keep getting pushed down." It sounds simple, but really is genius. Imagine the difference between yelling, "Tommy!!! Stop hitting your sister! That's hurt her! Why you you always have to be so aggressive?!" (while practically ignoring the hurt child in the process) and instead focusing on the child in need and validating their feelings. It's not about telling them, "Tommy is so mean!" (in turn making them believe Tommy is mean and Tommy believing he is mean and hurtful), it's about putting the focus where it's important and solving issues in the process.

The book also has great points about labeling your children and putting them into "roles". Calling one kid smart and the other athletic limits them both and also spawns rivalry. To the smart child, they might feel pressure to keep up their genius status or they may not partake in sports they might otherwise enjoy in fear that their sibling(s) would out-shine them. The athletic child might see their smart counter-part as "better" or even think their parents like them more, giving them an excuse to [spitefully] slack in school. Meanwhile, feeling the pressure to be "tough" and "athletic" and bring home the trophies. Even positive labels have negative effects. Some of the points it makes about labeling are really eye-opening and made me even think about how I was labeled as a child and how it may have affected me.

Also, the book talks about "fairness" between siblings. It is pretty much impossible to always keep things fair and equal 100% of the time. It can also be very counterproductive and exhausting. The point (and really the point of the whole book) is to treat each child uniquely. Uniquely; not fairly. Just because Suzie gets a new lunch box because she needs one doesn't mean Sally needs one too. It's important to teach the children that they each are important individually and that they will have their needs met SEPARATE from their siblings.

On a similar note, it puts a new perspective on sharing that lots of parents can learn from. Sharing should be encouraged, not forced. Do we share our cars (daily, regularly, I mean)? No. Our cell phones? No. They are OURS. It has some great suggestions for elimnating the possibility for conflict and also teaches you how to handle situations so the children can work together, solve problems, and not always be screaming for you to be on their side. All while still recognizing their feelings and frustrations. Ahh-mazing.

I loved that this book recognized the children individually instead of putting them up against each other. Rivalry is normal and something they can use as a tool to help them learn how to form healthy, loving relationships. It's not about making them the best of friends, it's about teaching them the skills the need in every relationship in life. (Listening, Problem Solving, Empathy, etc.) There was a lot of Unconditional Parenting and Attachment Parenting ideas so I could relate; such a recognizing your children's feelings (even when negative) and validating their emotions instead of trying to tell them not to say that thing or feel that way. ("You don't hate your sister." "You don't want to kill him! Don't say that!" See? See?

I could go much more in-depth about its greatness, but really all I can say is it's a must-read for anyone with children or even expect to have children around one day. It's an easy read, you can easily skip chapter if you need to, and there are so many tools you can use for years and years. So much of it is common sense, but things most people don't even realize until it's spread out in front of them. So often we inadvertently set our children up for the bickering and fighting without even realizing what we are doing! Instead of seeing sibling rivalry as a doom-and-gloom to my future, I am now somewhat more optimistic knowing the control I have over it, how to turn it into something positive and healthy, and am excited [in a strange kind of way] to help them navigate through this relationship by doing my part as their parent.

Bring it on, Baby Squirt!!

My favorite quote:

"The be loved equally is somehow to be loved less. To be loved uniquely - for one's own special self - is to be loved as much as we need to be loved."