Non-Crunchy Confessions

I'm still not sure how a blog that started out as a blog for documenting B and things we do (and why) has turned into such a "Crunch-tastic" blog. . . but it's almost making me feel guilty.

You can laugh at me now when I tell you I actually tried to google search "What it means to be crunchy" to give everyone an accurate description. . . but I didn't have much luck as far as an *official* definition. To me, when I think of being crunchy I think of hippies. Tree huggers. Vegetarians. Vegans. Conservationists. Natural is the best word I can think of that doesn't inflate any negative sparks. Typically crunchy moms support home births, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, healthy eating, etc. Typically, we're pretty far on the left, politically speaking (but lets not go there. . . )

So yes, I consider myself pretty crunchy. But I'm definitely no pro. So for the fairness of anyone who might be looking at me (or this blog) expecting this glory-glory bra-less, placenta pill taking home grower. . . I need to make my confessions now. I may be back to edit this (aka add to) on several occasions. By the end, I probably won't look very crunchy anymore. . .

Confession #1 - I enjoy fast food.

Yikes. I know. Fast food is disgusting. The food quality is horrible. The meat is below dog-food grade, the saturated fats and artificial colors and flavors are over the top. . . but I enjoy it. Although I grocery shop for only organic meat and prefer my daughter only eat organic milk and eggs. . . I love McDonalds Big Macs. It's backwards. . . I know.

Confession #2 - I'm too much of a worrier and a wimp to do a home birth.

Midwives are awesome. And how far they have come with the technology and everything behind it is amazing. If you haven't seen Ricki Lake's Birth Documentary, you should (view the trailer here). I would LOVE to give birth naturally in the comfort of my home. But I'm a worrier. And I have a low pain tolerance. And I'm too scared. So I'll be delivering in a hospital for the second time in May or June. Hopefully without induction, without having my water broken, without using pitocin. . . but honestly, probably with an epidural.

Confession #3 - My crunchinessis over-due.

I was always earthy. . . always into conservation and the environment. . . always knew I would breastfeed. But lots of other things came after Isabelle was born, after I learned new things and decided what I felt passionate about and what worked for us. Attachment Parenting, Gentle Discipline, Amber Teething Necklaces, Cloth Diapering Baby Wearing, Vaccinations, Extended Rear-Facing or the idea of Extended Breastfeeding. . . all things that I didn't grasp or even know about until she was at least 8 months old. My birth experience was not crunchy. We didn't co-sleep a day (or night) in our lives. I only wore her when it was convenient now and again, but I can probably count the number of times on one hand.

Confession #4 - I don't cloth diaper at night and randomly during the day.

I cloth diaper about 90% of the time during the day. If we have a long car trip, outing, or if dad is home with her for the day, we use disposables. At night, she's always in those nasy ol' sposies. So although I only contribute to landfills about 1/6 as much. . . I still do :(

Confession #5 - Isabelle and I both enjoy sweets.

My family (I think) thinks I'm too strict with Isabelle and her sugar intake. But I'm really not (in comparison). For her birthday, she had a regular old cake -- no homemade banana cake, no dairy free, sugar free cake, no cake with extra health-building ingredients. She's a really good eater, so if she's eaten well I'll give her a cookie, or a piece of candy, or some ice cream.

Confession #6 - I use birth control. . . or would if I could/wanted to

I'm pretty sure that's not-crunchy. Obviously I'm knocked up now, but I have no problem killing off those little swimmers or keeping my body from ovulating or whatever I have to do, even if it is unnatural.

Confession #7 - I don't do elimination communication.

If you don't know what it is and WANT to know - go here. I just haven't gotten there yet. . . probably never will. . . but props to those that do.

Confession #8 - B was fully vaccinated on schedule.

Obviously this kind of goes with #3 but I thought it deserved it's own category. To see my current stance, go here. I was too busy learning about other things before I got to vaccines. . . so I was late on the ball.

Confession #9 - We aren't Vegan or Vegetarian and I rarely can afford organic produce.

We only eat organic meat in our home (going out to eat or at in a guests home is another thing) and therefore don't eat it often. . . but we DO eat it. Same with dairy, etc. I would LOVE to be able to buy all organic produce, but it's simply not feasible right now.

Confession #10 - We don't have a compost pile and grow very few things at home.

My goal this summer is to at least get a compost bin going again and get a larger garden with more fruits and veggies. . . but in comparison, we are definitely lacking in that area.

Camera Phone Uploads!!!

<-- Me and Isabelle "baby wearing". She went through a phase when she wanted held all of the time between about 6 weeks-10 weeks (if even that long) so I wore her in my Infantino or another carrier I had. But usually never longer than a few hours, just to get stuff done in the house. I didn't realize all of the benefits of baby wearing until she was at least 8-10 months old

<---- Isabelle in her crib. She was in her crib from the first day she was home from the hospital and on. I was blessed with a good sleeper in the younger years, so it made it easy. I was so worried about starting a "habit". . . again, I didn't realize all of the benefits (HEALTH benefits, too!) to co-sleeping. We tried to co-sleep later when she started having troubles, when we went on vacation, etc. . . but since she has always been

in her crib, if we are there she thinks it's play time and we've never gotten her to go to sleep!

<----- with Daddy getting ice cream. We get it lots in the summer. . .

<-----B in her car seat. I didn't discover extended rear-facing until she was over 12 months, so she was actually foward facing for a month or so before I happened to fall upon an article on Baby Center and then quickly flopped her back around.

Picking my battles

I have the craziest memory. And for some reason, I remember when I was about 17 years old, working as a server at Pizza Hut. I came home on a particularly bad night when the kids that came in that evening were driving me crazy. I was complaining to my mom and saying that when I was a parent [insert snooty teenager voice here] I would never let my kids to *this* or *that*. I can vividly remember a particular child, maybe about 3 or 4, who kept standing up on the bench and I thought that was so inappropriate. I remember my mom laughing (out loud) at me and telling me sometimes when you're a parent, you just have to pick your battles. Of course me being the stubborn, argumentative woman I am had to fight her on it for a bit, but before long, I realized (to some extent) that she was totally right.

"Picking your battles" I really believe is one thing that can set parents apart. My mom was a genius and I didn't even realize it yet. Sometimes, it's hard not to get upset over every little thing, especially on a bad day. But I quickly realized that nit-picking everything that bothered me was exhausting for both of us. While I agree that it is important to teach our children what is right, it's also important as parents to realize what is simply an annoyance and what is a REAL issue.

For example: Getting upset with food being thrown on the floor. Or even in my beginning example, a small toddler jumping on the benches at a pizza joint. I try to think to myself, "Okay. . . in another few years, will this still be a problem, or will she likely grow out of it on her own?" I've found that 80% of the time, I realize it's not a battle to pick. B will not still throw food on the floor when she is 5. . . (actually, she doesn't even do it anymore now). She was simply experimenting with gravity. I really don't think if she stands up and/or jumps on the bench in a restaurant it will help either of us if I try to force her to sit, not to mention she's probably only doing it out of boredom. I don't forsee my 6-year old B doing the same thing.

I think some parents feel the need to control every little behavior because if they don't, they fear their child will never listen to them. They have this "nip it in the bud" mentality. Maybe they were held under a tight leash as a child and feel they must do the same. I think it's important to realize what is a true concern, and what is a fear-based response.

So for battles I'm not willing to pick, I can ignore it, redirect them, or just back-off. And for those bigger battles that as a parent, I'm entitled to fight? Good 'ol Attachment Parenting standards: Time-In, problem solving, and natural consequences.

Like they say, "Don't sweat the small stuff". And if you focus on your relationship more and stop worrying so much about what they are doing and if it's "okay", then when the big stuff does roll around - you'll know it -- and correcting it will be much easier.