I've come from a family of avid breast feeders. My grandmother breastfed all 4 of her children, my mom breastfed all 3 of us (as did her sister's and their children), my sister breastfed her 2 boys. . . so breastfeeding successfully was probably one of my biggest concerns as a new mother. Obviously I have the "tools" (all-be-it small tools) to do it, but of all the things that stressed me about having a baby, breastfeeding was definitely #1. For anyone who has ever had a baby and tried to breast feed (successfully or not), or to anyone who will eventually have a baby and plans to breastfeed. . . here's the scoop on what to expect. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
First, to all of those future mothers that are out there, let me give you the heads up: Breastfeeding. Is. Not. Easy. Start off expecting it to be difficult. Hey, maybe you'll get lucky and you'll have no problem at all. But just prepare yourself. It was the most difficult, the most emotional, the most taxing, and the most complicated part of having a baby. I went in expecting it to be hard, so then it didn't seem so bad whenever things went right.
Problem #1: The latch. B was always pretty good about latching on quickly and pretty easily, but sometimes, it still took a few tries. My first time breastfeeding, I had a great nurse who kind of just took over and showed me how to do it. She literally grabbed my boob, B's head, and made it work. Take every advantage you can of the lactation consultant at the hospital (if they provide one), and let her check your babies latch. Even though B seemed to be a pro, (hey - I thought she did pretty well!) I still had cracking, chafing, and bleeding. It hurt. But don't worry, it will go away! Get some free nipple cream from the hopsital if they offer, even if you don't think you need it. If you're like me -- you will!
Problem #2: The pump. I HATE PUMPING. First, my challenge was to build up a freezer supply so that my husband and mom had something to give her when I started back shooting weddings and went back to work (for that entire month it lasted). My first 3 or 4 tries were 100% unsuccessful. Not a drop. I had to train my boobs to give it up at the pump. I also had to make sure I pumped the same time every day. Finally, I got 1 oz. Then 2. Then 4. Alleluia!! Sometimes, your boobs need some training to get workin'.
Problem #3: You're empty. If I didn't have my mom and sister there telling me, "Just keep nursing!" over and over and over, I'm sure breastfeeding would've been a bust. When she was around 3-4 weeks old, she would eat for 3 hours straight from 5-8pm. Right boob. Left boob. Right boob. Left boob. I was sure I was empty and I was sure she wasn't getting enough milk. "My baby is starving!" I thought. Although she was totally happy and content as long as she was sucking, I was having doubts. In the back of my mind, I thought, "Maybe I need to offer her some formula". But I didn't dare mention the f-word to my mom!! She and my sister kept assuring me (supply and demand, they always said) and sure enough, a few days later -- ka-boom! There is more milk. Those boobs are the most amazing appendages you'll ever see. Trust them. They WILL make more. (And like I mentioned w/ problem #2, they are even time sensitive!!) Just keep nursing!!
Problem #4: You're too full. First, when your milk comes in. And WHOA does it come in. You're engorged and uncomfortable. This is one of the most important times to make sure your baby has 24/7 boob access. Now is one of the times that your body is figuring out exactly how much milk to make. So again -- just keep nursing! Then around 3-4 months, I also had an over-supply problem when I stopped pumping for my stash (because I went back to work). Even though I stopped that extra pumping, but my body didn't stop making the milk! B was gassy, fussy at the breast, and her poo turned bright green. She was getting too much fore-milk and not enough calorie-rich hind-milk. Fixing the problem took nearly a month -- a very long, engorged, uncomfortable month at that. So be prepared for those times when you are just very very full. And leaking. And you can't sleep because you feel like you're going to pop at any moment. Just enjoy the perky, porn-star look of your breasts that you will probably never get to see again.
Problem #5: Doctor's give bad advice. First, their background in breastfeeding (unless you have a doctor who breastfed) is VERY limited. And in their defense, they are just trying to keep momma happy and stress free. But they don't hesitate to tell you to supplement with formula. Or offer water once they're 6 months. Or to nurse on a schedule. Or to only nurse on each side for a specific amount of time. All horribly bad advice. If you want to breastfeed exclusively, doing any of those things will be detrimental to your supply. I could go into the specifics of WHY it's all wrong, but to make it easy on yourself, don't ask your doctor or pediatrician breastfeeding advice. I usually called someone from my local La Lache League if I had a question or concern. They gave GREAT advice. Most hospitals also have lactation consultants who will help you free of charge, and both resources have great support groups that meet monthly or even weekly. They are there to help. CALL THEM!
Problem #6: Strikes. Eight months old and B suddenly decided she didn't want to nurse. First it was just at night. Then it started to be in the afternoon. First, I thought she might just be cutting back from eating more solids, until we got to the point where she wouldn't nurse AT ALL. Quick call to La Lache and I had a recipe for success and I week later, my baby was nursing again. Be prepared for set-backs. One day they can't get enough of your boobs, the next day they want nothing to do with them.
Problem #7: Demand. I'm not sure this is so much a problem, but there were a few days when I looked with envy upon my bottle-fed mommies who could take a break every now and again. You are the sole-provider of nourishment for your little one, so just be prepared to be able to be available, on-demand, all the time. Try not to see it as an inconvenience ("Ugh, I have so much work to do!" but instead as a luxury. It forces yourself to sit down, relax, and just enjoy holding and snuggling with your baby. Keep in mind that before you know it, that little bundle of joy will be starting kindergarten, graduating high-school, and getting married. (Not all at the same time, obviously).
Problem #8: On-the-go nursing. First, here is a tip that I wish I would've listened to when B was an infant. Take advantage of the ready-made, instant access nature that are your breasts. Don't be afraid to breast-feed in public. I made it difficult on myself because I was too embarrassed to just whip-it out and feed my baby. I was too modest and worried what people would say or think. Maybe even deep-down I was thinking that if I bottle fed, it would be so much easier to get B fed in public. I would hunt out a discrete location, pull out my "hooter-hider" and cover up my 3 month old baby (and my boobs) in 90 degree summer heat. Or go to the car. In one rare instance, I even fed in her a public restroom. *UGH!* You can breastfeed discretely in public, and personally, I feel like just whipping it out is better than covering yourself up with a "hooter-hider" that is like waving a red flag that says, "HEY! Look over here! I'm breastfeeding!" You have the luxury of having the milk at the perfect temperature right with you all of the time. Take advantage of it! If you do want to stay modest, there are slings available that allow you to breastfeed on-demand, while staying discrete :) Baby #2, my goal is to just feed her when she wants fed and screw any nay-saying on-lookers. It's my right to feed my baby!!
Problem #9: Boob preference. Just know that many babies prefer one breast over the other. So. . . you may be a little lop-sided. :) Now don't look too closely at me next time you see me :)
Problem #10: Culture. Unfortunately, breastfeeding the the United States is extremely lacking (although making a slight come-back). Every mom has their own right to decide weather or not they want to breastfeed -- some don't even have the opinion because of health or physical limitations -- I'm not here to argue why you should breastfeed, but I will argue that there is a very limited amount of accurate information out there regarding breastfeeding. In many other foreign countries, it is normal (and even expected) for a woman to breastfeed her child. In public. Past one year old. To them, breastfeeding is beautiful, not sexual. My favorite quote from a fellow breastfeeding mother is, "If breastfeeding is sexual than your bottle is a dildo." In a 2003 survey, 70% of new mothers initiate breastfeeding but by 6 months only 36% are still breastfeeding exclusively (no supplementing). By 12 months, the numbers plummet to 12%. Just read the facts and get your info straight. And be prepared to handle criticism however you choose -- just don't give in. Whatever you choose, you are doing what you believe is best for you and your little one. Be proud of that and stand your ground.
Don't let these things scare you -- just use them to prepare yourself and make you stronger. Despite the challenges of breastfeeding, the benefits FAR outweigh. Not only does breastfeeding provide protection again infection, illness, and allergies, it also enhances development and intelligence, saves you money, is more ecological, and protects you from various cancers and other health concerns while simultaneously promoting postpartum weight loss. If you choose to breastfeed and WANT to breastfeed, do it! Hang tough and (again - if you want to - no pressure!) be part of the lucky 12% at the end of the first year and give yourself a round of applause! You're one of the lucky few.
Peace. Love. Boobies.
Thanks! Hey, you might be on to something ;)
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