Mid Night Tales

B was born a great sleeper. To begin with. She started sleeping through the night (as in 8-10 hours stretches) when she was 6 weeks and 2 days old. *Side note: my memory is beyond horrible yet I can remember the silliest of details.* Then she hit 5 1/2 months and her teeth started coming in. And she started rolling over. And then crawling. Then more teeth. And more and more. And then separation anxiety. And changes in sleep patterns. . . and before I knew it, my perfect sleeper was waking up every 2-4 hours, sometimes even as much as 7 times in one night. Boy, was that a rude awakening!

I read just about every sleep book out there. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", "Babywise", "How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems", "The Baby Whisperer", "Helping Your Baby and Toddler to Sleep", . . . just to name a few. Many friends, as well as some people I barely knew, gave me advice that to get them to sleep well, on their own and through the night, I would just have to "let her cry".

Crying-it-out, or "CIO", is a method used for sleep training. It has variations like Feberizing, controlled crying, or modified CIO and is used as a way to "help" a baby to sleep on their own. I was under the false presumption that unless I let her cry, she would never learn to sleep on her own. That I was somehow robbing her of that luxury, that she would become a chronically over-tired, fussy baby and I would be an exhausted, cranky and unsuitable mother. I gave in. I tried the Ferber method one day. And after about 20 minutes, I was done. Isabelle was hysterical, I was hysterical, and she wound up clingy, needy, unhappy for the rest of the week. I will feel forever and ever and ever guilty about letting her cry for those 20 minutes. It was heart-wrenching. Before I go any further, I want to start of by saying that if you've chosen to do CIO, I hold no judgements against you. I know you did what you felt was best for you, your little one, and your family. I KNOW you love your kids more than anything in the world!! We have alot of decisions to make as parents. This is just my decision, and if nothing else, I hope to give some hope to any future mommas.

So I now knew I didn't want to leave B to cry alone in her room, but I also wasn't sure how I felt about these 45 min nursing sessions every few hours in the middle of the night. Surely there was a middle ground, right? After going through massive amounts of sleep books from the library and coming across article from the beloved babycenter, I finally came across a solution -- "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" to be specific. (Which then led me to Attachment Parenting, Extended Breastfeeding, Babywearing, and before you know it I was becoming more and more toasted and crunchy. . . all up for topics at a later date).

"The No-Cry Sleep Solution" (NCSS) gives moms several tools to use to gently help your little one learn to sleep better with less and less help from you. Our biggest problem was that Isabelle usually always needed to nurse to sleep, and Pantley teaches you a removal process to wean your baby off of the suck-to-sleep association. She calls it the "Pantley Pull-Off" or PPO. When we started that, we almost immediately saw a difference in her sleep and how low I was staying up with her in the middle of the night. Before long, instead of going in to nurse for 45 min, it was taking as little as 5 min.

Another tip I used a lot was establishing was Pantley calls, "key words" and a shush/pat. Before NCSS, I really never said or did much besides nurse (I didn't even rock. . . I hate rocking!). So when she was nursing, I started to say, "Shhhh. . . go night night" quietly so she would associate that with sleeping. Meanwhile, I would also press my hand to her chest and rub or pat gently. We did that for several weeks, then I would start to say the keywords and shush/pat earlier and earlier so help her settle. The real miracle came the day I PPOed, transferred her to her crib, she started to squirm and fuss and I simply laid my hand on her chest, and whispered, "Shhh. . . . go night night" and she laid still and went to sleep. Hokey smokes was I excited! It worked!

Next was teaching Isabelle to fall asleep on her own. Again - without crying. As the book suggested, I started establishing a lovey. Also, I would take Isabelle to play up in her room at least twice a day, and try to keep her in her crib for play time at least one of those times. This is supposed to teach them that their bedroom and their crib is a fun, happy place. I'll never forget the first day Isabelle let me lie her down and leave the room without a fuss. And when she fell asleep without me, I about peed my pants.

So, was NCSS easy? Um - NO! CIO is a fast, easy fix with typically quick results (although you usually have to do CIO again and again every time your little one reaches a new milestone, goes on a trip, becomes ill, etc, etc, etc). The progress was slow and all happened in baby steps. Although I saw progress, Isabelle definitely wasn't sleeping through the night, taking perfect naps, and falling asleep on her own in a matter of weeks. It was more like months. We had lots of ups and down. . . sleeping great one week and horrible the next. . . but being a mom isn't about molding a child to fit into your life, it's about accommodating your life to better suit theirs.

Today, 7 months after starting NCSS, Isabelle is able to fall asleep on her own, sleep 12 hours straight through the night most nights, and takes a good 2-hour (sometimes more) nap every day. Sure, she still has nights where she wakes up and needs me; and I'm there for her. There is SO much that goes on with our little ones, I know there is no way I could have ever let her CIO. I would've questioned myself every step of the way. Science has proven that babies don't cry to manipulate; they cry to communicate. Just because her diaper is clean and her belly is full doesn't mean she doesn't have other needs. Maybe her belly hurts. Maybe her teeth. Maybe she is just feeling insecure and needs the assurance that someone is there for her. That is still a NEED. By trusting in the value of Isabelle's cries, she learns to trust me. I was able to read Isabelle's cries and respond accordingly. Sometimes, I could even read her body language and respond to her pre-cry singals so she didn't always HAVE to cry. To me, responding to a babies cries is mother nature. You hear them cry and you have this strong urge to pick them up and comfort them. I didn't want to loose that; I didn't want to become desensitized to her cries and signals.

This last year has flown by. I know there will be a day in the not-too-distant future when B will be going out with friends. . . starting high school. . . getting married. . . and I will yearn for the days back when she wanted my company at night. The first year is, by no means, easy. . . but just enjoy it! Soak in all the late night cuddles you can. Enjoy the peacefulness of the house when it's quiet (finally!). Don't wish away this phase of their life. You'll be begging to have it back before too long.

Smart Hands

B Signing :)

So what's the deal with baby sign anyways? IS it the new fad? Haha like so many other things I've been into that might seem this way, trust me. . . this is NOT a fad.

People have been signing with their babies for years. Infants develops the fine muscles in their hands long before they develop those required for speech, so they are totally capable of communicate with you before they can speak. This is no super baby experiment. Think about it. . . even babies who are never taught to sign will wave bye-bye. They may reach their arms up when they want picked up. Or pat the couch when they want to sit next to you. Or point to an object they want. This is their way of communicating with you before they have the ability to say the words.

Most experts recommend you start with 3-5 signs and then expand from there. We started with "milk", "all done", "more", "eat", and "dog". They typically aren't able to form the signs until at least 6 months old, but I started signing with B when she was about 4 months just so I could get in the habit and I could expose her to it early. Her first sign was when she was just shy of 6 months at my friend's wedding. I was the photographer, and B was sitting with daddy in the pews. He said she looked at him, raised her hand, and signed "milk" for daddy. Like it was something she did every day. He was so excited! (And so was I!). She ran to get her a bottle, and she sucked down the full 6 ounces.

So imagine, if you will, having a baby as young as 6 months who could tell you when she wanted milk, when she was tired, or if she just wanted to show you something you missed like a bird. Baby sign language has many benefits. Mostly, it reduces fussiness because they can tell you exactly want they want. Research confirms that signing babies have fewer temper tantrums! Both you and your baby are less frustrated when they are trying to communicate to you what they want. No more playing guessing games. ("Do you want this? No? How about this? This?")

I've found baby sign to help us bond. It's like I get to peek into that little head of hers and see some of the things she is thinking. Those wheels are always turning!! It's amazing watching her, and even neater now that she will not only create her own signs, but turn to me and give me a look like, "Mom. . . what's the sign for THAT?!" and mimic right behind me. She seems confident and secure knowing that when she wants something, she can tell me what she wants, and I can quickly and easily fulfill her need.

Although I'd like to believe it, I'm not creating any genius prodigy child. Sign is normal and easy, although it does help her mental development. Studies show that babies who have early exposure to signing have larger speaking vocabularies earlier. Because we sign, I say the same words to her over and over and over and over. Instead of just, "Would you like a cracker?" She then will sign cracker. . . "That's right! Cracker". Then I sign cracker back again, "Cracker." Repetition. Repetition. Repetition.

Now, Isabelle knows over 45 signs and she is learning new ones practically every day. She loves to read books that have lots of the signs she knows in them. Her favorite sign [right now] seems to be "bird". She is only 14 months old and I can carry on a conversation with her that would be close to that of a 2 or 3 year-old. This is amazing!

Isabelle's Signs: Daddy, Mommy, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Jen, Luke, Nate, Book, Hat, Blanket, Ball, Light, Star, Balloon, Bath, Shower, Please, Thank You, More, All Done, Baby, Eat, Potty, Again, Girl, Rain, Flower, Milk, Cheese, Strawberry, Banana, Water, Cracker, Raisin, Peas, Green Beans, Carrot, Apple, Cookie, Dog, Bear, Elephant, Pig, Horse, Monkey, Bird, Fish, Cat, Mouse, Elmo, Red, Blue, Penguin.

In this video, the signing is about 1/2 way into it:

Breastfeeding Pep-talk

With my blog name, it's a wonder this is my first breastfeeding post. Don't you worry ('cuz I know you did), there are many more to come.

I've come from a family of avid breast feeders. My grandmother breastfed all 4 of her children, my mom breastfed all 3 of us (as did her sister's and their children), my sister breastfed her 2 boys. . . so breastfeeding successfully was probably one of my biggest concerns as a new mother. Obviously I have the "tools" (all-be-it small tools) to do it, but of all the things that stressed me about having a baby, breastfeeding was definitely #1. For anyone who has ever had a baby and tried to breast feed (successfully or not), or to anyone who will eventually have a baby and plans to breastfeed. . . here's the scoop on what to expect. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

First, to all of those future mothers that are out there, let me give you the heads up: Breastfeeding. Is. Not. Easy. Start off expecting it to be difficult. Hey, maybe you'll get lucky and you'll have no problem at all. But just prepare yourself. It was the most difficult, the most emotional, the most taxing, and the most complicated part of having a baby. I went in expecting it to be hard, so then it didn't seem so bad whenever things went right.

Problem #1: The latch. B was always pretty good about latching on quickly and pretty easily, but sometimes, it still took a few tries. My first time breastfeeding, I had a great nurse who kind of just took over and showed me how to do it. She literally grabbed my boob, B's head, and made it work. Take every advantage you can of the lactation consultant at the hospital (if they provide one), and let her check your babies latch. Even though B seemed to be a pro, (hey - I thought she did pretty well!) I still had cracking, chafing, and bleeding. It hurt. But don't worry, it will go away! Get some free nipple cream from the hopsital if they offer, even if you don't think you need it. If you're like me -- you will!

Problem #2: The pump. I HATE PUMPING. First, my challenge was to build up a freezer supply so that my husband and mom had something to give her when I started back shooting weddings and went back to work (for that entire month it lasted). My first 3 or 4 tries were 100% unsuccessful. Not a drop. I had to train my boobs to give it up at the pump. I also had to make sure I pumped the same time every day. Finally, I got 1 oz. Then 2. Then 4. Alleluia!! Sometimes, your boobs need some training to get workin'.

Problem #3: You're empty. If I didn't have my mom and sister there telling me, "Just keep nursing!" over and over and over, I'm sure breastfeeding would've been a bust. When she was around 3-4 weeks old, she would eat for 3 hours straight from 5-8pm. Right boob. Left boob. Right boob. Left boob. I was sure I was empty and I was sure she wasn't getting enough milk. "My baby is starving!" I thought. Although she was totally happy and content as long as she was sucking, I was having doubts. In the back of my mind, I thought, "Maybe I need to offer her some formula". But I didn't dare mention the f-word to my mom!! She and my sister kept assuring me (supply and demand, they always said) and sure enough, a few days later -- ka-boom! There is more milk. Those boobs are the most amazing appendages you'll ever see. Trust them. They WILL make more. (And like I mentioned w/ problem #2, they are even time sensitive!!) Just keep nursing!!

Problem #4: You're too full. First, when your milk comes in. And WHOA does it come in. You're engorged and uncomfortable. This is one of the most important times to make sure your baby has 24/7 boob access. Now is one of the times that your body is figuring out exactly how much milk to make. So again -- just keep nursing! Then around 3-4 months, I also had an over-supply problem when I stopped pumping for my stash (because I went back to work). Even though I stopped that extra pumping, but my body didn't stop making the milk! B was gassy, fussy at the breast, and her poo turned bright green. She was getting too much fore-milk and not enough calorie-rich hind-milk. Fixing the problem took nearly a month -- a very long, engorged, uncomfortable month at that. So be prepared for those times when you are just very very full. And leaking. And you can't sleep because you feel like you're going to pop at any moment. Just enjoy the perky, porn-star look of your breasts that you will probably never get to see again.

Problem #5: Doctor's give bad advice. First, their background in breastfeeding (unless you have a doctor who breastfed) is VERY limited. And in their defense, they are just trying to keep momma happy and stress free. But they don't hesitate to tell you to supplement with formula. Or offer water once they're 6 months. Or to nurse on a schedule. Or to only nurse on each side for a specific amount of time. All horribly bad advice. If you want to breastfeed exclusively, doing any of those things will be detrimental to your supply. I could go into the specifics of WHY it's all wrong, but to make it easy on yourself, don't ask your doctor or pediatrician breastfeeding advice. I usually called someone from my local La Lache League if I had a question or concern. They gave GREAT advice. Most hospitals also have lactation consultants who will help you free of charge, and both resources have great support groups that meet monthly or even weekly. They are there to help. CALL THEM!

Problem #6: Strikes. Eight months old and B suddenly decided she didn't want to nurse. First it was just at night. Then it started to be in the afternoon. First, I thought she might just be cutting back from eating more solids, until we got to the point where she wouldn't nurse AT ALL. Quick call to La Lache and I had a recipe for success and I week later, my baby was nursing again. Be prepared for set-backs. One day they can't get enough of your boobs, the next day they want nothing to do with them.

Problem #7: Demand. I'm not sure this is so much a problem, but there were a few days when I looked with envy upon my bottle-fed mommies who could take a break every now and again. You are the sole-provider of nourishment for your little one, so just be prepared to be able to be available, on-demand, all the time. Try not to see it as an inconvenience ("Ugh, I have so much work to do!" but instead as a luxury. It forces yourself to sit down, relax, and just enjoy holding and snuggling with your baby. Keep in mind that before you know it, that little bundle of joy will be starting kindergarten, graduating high-school, and getting married. (Not all at the same time, obviously).

Problem #8: On-the-go nursing. First, here is a tip that I wish I would've listened to when B was an infant. Take advantage of the ready-made, instant access nature that are your breasts. Don't be afraid to breast-feed in public. I made it difficult on myself because I was too embarrassed to just whip-it out and feed my baby. I was too modest and worried what people would say or think. Maybe even deep-down I was thinking that if I bottle fed, it would be so much easier to get B fed in public. I would hunt out a discrete location, pull out my "hooter-hider" and cover up my 3 month old baby (and my boobs) in 90 degree summer heat. Or go to the car. In one rare instance, I even fed in her a public restroom. *UGH!* You can breastfeed discretely in public, and personally, I feel like just whipping it out is better than covering yourself up with a "hooter-hider" that is like waving a red flag that says, "HEY! Look over here! I'm breastfeeding!" You have the luxury of having the milk at the perfect temperature right with you all of the time. Take advantage of it! If you do want to stay modest, there are slings available that allow you to breastfeed on-demand, while staying discrete :) Baby #2, my goal is to just feed her when she wants fed and screw any nay-saying on-lookers. It's my right to feed my baby!!

Problem #9: Boob preference. Just know that many babies prefer one breast over the other. So. . . you may be a little lop-sided. :) Now don't look too closely at me next time you see me :)

Problem #10: Culture. Unfortunately, breastfeeding the the United States is extremely lacking (although making a slight come-back). Every mom has their own right to decide weather or not they want to breastfeed -- some don't even have the opinion because of health or physical limitations -- I'm not here to argue why you should breastfeed, but I will argue that there is a very limited amount of accurate information out there regarding breastfeeding. In many other foreign countries, it is normal (and even expected) for a woman to breastfeed her child. In public. Past one year old. To them, breastfeeding is beautiful, not sexual. My favorite quote from a fellow breastfeeding mother is, "If breastfeeding is sexual than your bottle is a dildo." In a 2003 survey, 70% of new mothers initiate breastfeeding but by 6 months only 36% are still breastfeeding exclusively (no supplementing). By 12 months, the numbers plummet to 12%. Just read the facts and get your info straight. And be prepared to handle criticism however you choose -- just don't give in. Whatever you choose, you are doing what you believe is best for you and your little one. Be proud of that and stand your ground.

Don't let these things scare you -- just use them to prepare yourself and make you stronger. Despite the challenges of breastfeeding, the benefits FAR outweigh. Not only does breastfeeding provide protection again infection, illness, and allergies, it also enhances development and intelligence, saves you money, is more ecological, and protects you from various cancers and other health concerns while simultaneously promoting postpartum weight loss. If you choose to breastfeed and WANT to breastfeed, do it! Hang tough and (again - if you want to - no pressure!) be part of the lucky 12% at the end of the first year and give yourself a round of applause! You're one of the lucky few.

Peace. Love. Boobies.

Isabelle's Signs

After all of the complaints from friends and family that they didn't know all of Isabelle's signs, I finally had some time during nap to work on a sign cheat-sheet. *Phew* I didn't realize she was already signing over 40 words! Hokey Smokes!!! The images are small, but if you double click on them, you should be able to see a larger version. Hehe, for those of you who wonder what all that hand jibberish is about! I'll get a signing blog post up sometime. . . my afternoon has been eaten up and I hear a waking baby on the monitor!

Baby-Led Weaning (or Baby-Led Solids)

Baby-Led Weaning (BLW) is yet another thing that many of my friend and family teased me about when I started with B. Really, I promise, it's not just another new silly trend! It's just common sense. . .

I started out making home-made purees for B for maybe a week or two right when she turned 6 months old. At first, things were going great. But then, day by day, she started becoming more and more difficult to feed. Something I was once so excited to do was becoming a chore. Then one day, after I added the cooked fruits and veggies into the food processor I thought, "Really?! Why can't she just EAT it?!" I had been using wholesomebabyfoods.com for tips and help on making my own baby food, and I came across info on BLW. And then, I was hooked.

The biggest component of BLW is its name, baby led. The parent doesn't feed the child, the child feed themselves from the start. No spoons feeding or purees. . . food is offered in

manageable pieces that the child explores and (eventually) eats. BLW often gets confused with child-led weaning, which is letting a child wean themselves from breastfeeding. Not the same thing. The AAP recommends not beginning solids until 6 months, which also happens to be the perfect time for most baby to begin BLW.

So what's so great about it? Well first off, it takes the hassle out of meal-time. B eats when we eat, what we eat, and how much she wants to eat. She joins in on family meals and because we don't have to worry about spoon feeding her, we eat our meal hot and don't have to stress about spoon feeding her. BLW babies develop appetite control, and a taste for nutritious food. Babies who feed themselves gain confidence and learn to trust food. They also become more likely to try new foods because they know they won't be forced to eat. Oh wait -- the biggest perk -- It's cheaper! I just give a little of our food to B, and I'm not spending a fortune on special food just for baby!

One of our friends and family's biggest concerns was B choking. Many parents hold off on solids because of they don't understand the difference between choking and gagging. B did have lots of gagging (making coughing noises and leaning forward to spit out the food). Gagging is the baby's way of protecting their airway from pieces of foods that are too large. Choking on the other hand, means the airway is totally blocked - no sounds are made. Choking is very rare, but can happen weather you practice BLW or not. We just made sure to never leave B unattended and we are both certified in infant CPR (just in case!) We offered the food in slices, sticks or large pieces big enough for B to pick up and eat, and she was off!

So is there anything WRONG with spoon feeding? Not necessarily. Purees began back around the 1950's. . . it started with the wives tale that cereal would help your baby sleep better and sooner (NOT true). So then, before you knew it moms were feeding fruits and vegetables earlier and earlier, and started to puree them with the belief that their baby would eat it better that way. And baby food companies took advantage of the opportunity and started marketing to mothers. . . even for babies as young as 3 months, despite recommendations against it. Ok. . . now I'm getting off an an entirely new rant. . . So anyways, the problem with purees is that it is all the same texture, and babies swallow instead of chew. Then, when they are

then given food with more texture, they can't handle it because they haven't learned how to swallow. Also, spoon feeding puts the parent (or "feeder") in control. The baby can't decide how much to eat or how fast to eat it, inhibiting their ability to sense when to stop because they are full. BLW fits in great with breastfed babies because they are used to controlling how much they eat. Also, the muscles that babies use to nurse are the same ones used to chew. By force-feeding purees (for lack of a better word), too many solids can interfere with milk intake - which means fewer nutrients. So really. . . if you want to do the mush that's fine but really. . . I figure why bother? BLW is fun!

Now that B is almost 14 months (when most babies would be on solids anyway) we seem to have fallen back into the mold, but BLW has definitely paid off. She loves meal time, she is a great eater, and mom and dad are both happy! It makes me wonder. . . why in the world WOULD anyone do purees??