F* the Elf, we have a Christmas Angel

I think over the past few years I've voiced my opinions (and as usual, maybe too loudly) of my disdain for the "Elf on a Shelf".  Without spending the entire blog post going off on a rant about the weird creature, I'll sum it up for you.

He magically comes to your home the day after Thanksgiving.

Via a friendly, well-marketed book and "doll".

A doll. . . which is pretty darn creepy and cheap looking, yet costs a pretty penny to buy.

And his/her book warns the children that they need to be "good" because every night, he/she will report back to Santa.

You also can't touch the Elf (per his/her instructions), because then he/she will loose his/her magic.

Over the course of the days before Christmas, thanks to pinterest parents/guardians will sometimes spend *uber* amounts of time coming up with clever things for their Elf to do and get into.  Making messes, climbing walls, making "snow", pooping chocolate. . . you name it.

I, for one, have enough of my plate and I will selfishly say I will not NIGHTLY go through the mundane task of setting up a stink in' elf.  An elf that is there to tattle on my friends, and also get into a lot of trouble and make quite a few messes!!

I don't like snarks.  I don't like tattle tellers.  I certainly don't want one in my house.

I don't tell the girls they have to be "good" to get presents.  Santa brings them because he is generous (just like the real St. Nick) and loves them.  I don't want to threaten them with a creepy little elf.

I already feel guilty about all of the lies we tell our children over Christmas.  Santa, reindeer, the North Pole, Elves. . . why add another elaborate scheme??

Okay. . . enough about the elf.

So late last year, I saw a post about a nicer version of the Elf (here).  You can make the doll yourself, and the point is to teach your children to do something nice for Christmas.  It's not about being good for the elf so you can get more presents, it's about doing things for others.  I liked that idea.  As it turns out, someone already came up with something similar, and my Aunt bought us our Christmas Angel.

So every day this month, our Angel (whose name is still unclear. . . ) came with ideas of good deeds to do. . . random acts of kindness.  I will admit. . . it was still a lot of work!!  But if I'm going to go through the trouble, I'm glad it's something that sends a good message to the girls.  She arrived every morning with a message in glitter (aka angel dust) as a hint for what to do that day.  Then I typed out notes with the explanation and a message.  For example, the day we donated food her note said, "Hello Isabelle and Sophia!  There are some people who are not able to buy food for themselves.  Food pantries are set up to help feed the hungry and help out those less fortunate than ourselves.  We are so lucky to have a warm home and plenty to eat!  Collect some food and donate it to those in need."  The word "FOOD" was written in glitter.

So needless to say, it's been a busy month!  Here is our day by day re-cap:

Dec 1: Remember to be kind and share with your friends.

We hosted our home-based Pre-School Co-Op this day, and the Angel asked the girls to try and be extra nice and welcoming to their friends

















Dec 2: Send out Christmas Cards to loved ones to they know we are thinking of them

 Isabelle insisted she write out the names on all of the cards, so this project lasted at least 3 days.  I managed to sneak in a few addressing myself when she was sleeping, but she was ON IT!

Dec 3:  Donate crayons and coloring books to the children's area of the hospital

 The lady at the welcome desk was so sweet and gave the girls each a little pillow made by their volunteer to thank them for their donation.  They thought it was pretty cool.  It kind of defeated the "give and not receive" lesson, but it was also nice to be able to explain to them why it happened (when you are nice to people, then they want to do something nice in return!)

Dec 4: Wrap gifts for others!

 This was a hard one for type A, anal mommy.  If you happen to receive a rather messily wrapped gift from our family. . . you'll know why :)

Dec 5: Make homemade gifts

This has been a bit of an on-going event, also.  The girls had so much fun putting everything together, tho!  We made some simple foam ornaments, decorated mugs, and made snowman handprint ornaments, as well.

Dec 6:  Prepare and deliver gifts for St. Nicholas's Day

They REALLY wanted those goodies themselves! We did have some extra for them to enjoy, but focusing on surprising our neighbors and imaging how excited they would be really help keep them focused and be okay with the fact that the candy and toys were not for them.

Dec 7: Call a relative that lives far away and let them know that you are thinking of them.          

 Isabelle was more than happy to give her Aunt Casey a call :)  

Dec 8: Donate books to the library.                                               We have a LOT of books, but I realized myself that we must read a lot of books because *I* even had a hard time letting any of them go!  We did manage to find a few that we didn't read very often and thought another child might be able to enjoy them more.  And luckily mom had a decent stack to donate from her own collection :)

Dec 9:  Ummmmm. . . the angel forgot to leave anything out.  Haha!!!  Another reason why I DON'T have an Elf!  I said, "Maybe she wants you to think of something yourself!"  Isabelle sweetly remembered Siphesihle, our sponsor child that lives in Swaziland, and thought it would be nice to send something to her for Christmas.  She had recently sent us a drawing, so Isabelle wanted to send her one, too -- and wanted it to be a little picture in a square just like Siphesihle's.  :)  We found a little reindeer ornament to stick in the envelope, as well.  

 Working hard on her art-work. :)

Dec 10: Give your teacher a gift.

While neither of the girls have a formal "teacher"-teacher, we have a few teachers from dance, music, nature class, etc.  The teacher we've know the longest is Miss. Jodie, who has taught their music/dance classes since before Sophia was born.  Now, Sophia attends her "Tiny Dancers" class and Isabelle goes to her "Fabulous Fours (and 5's!)" class.  Isabelle made her a little card and we gave her a small gift.  The girls just adore this lady!

Dec 11: Donate food.

I'm all for doubling up on fun.  Noblesville Parks had a free "Christmas at the Park" day and they were asking for food donations, so we made a drop off and also got to make some crafts, feed the birds, play games, go on a wagon ride, and enjoy hot chocolate.  :)

Dec 12:  Donated the new, unwrapped toys that Mommy collected during her toy drive to the local fire station (for THEIR toy drive).  

Isabelle was pretty stoked about getting to see the inside of a REAL fire station.  I was in shock that neither of them asked to keep any of the toys for themselves <3  I think this was one of the first days I felt like all of this "giving and not receiving" was sinking in.  Now when they look for the angel, they don't expect anything for themselves, but instead get excited imaging how the other people will feel and act.  They're getting something out of it that's a little deeper. 

Dec 13: Leave a treat for the mail carrier.

We went with a lg bag of M&M's, hot chocolate, and candy canes.  And a sweet note with our family Christmas Card inside :)  We even got a card and thank you note back from her, so that was a nice surprise.

Dec 14: Smile at everyone you pass.

Today was Isabelle's Christmas Dance Recital, so she was pretty smiley already.  She would get so excited when she made a point to smile at someone and saw them smile back.  "I made them smile, Mommy!!  I made them smile!"  Spreading the cheer :)

Dec 15: Candy Cane Bomb a parking lot.

It is just as it sounds -- we left candy canes on the windshields of cars in the parking lot at the local library.  Just a nice treat for people, just because.  The girls loved this one for some reason. . . I think they liked doing it in secret.  I had typed up the poem about the meaning behind candy canes to put on each one ("J" shape for Jesus, turn it over and it's a shepard's hook, red for his blood and white for his purity) but then I felt like it wasn't leaving them "just because" but leaving them to try to make a religious tie to it.  So I decided against them.  Just plain old candy cane on the windshield :)

Dec 16: Donate money to the Salvation army and give the worker a hot-cocoa kit to help keep them warm. 

This deed took an extra few days. . . we caught as bug and were tied to the house :(  But it was so fun to do when we finally made the trip out! Luckily, I knew of a really sweet volunteer at the Kroger near our house who I knew would have a reaction that wouldn't falter ;)  Isabelle went on and on all of the way home how excited the worker was to get his cup and hot chocolate.  "He was so happy, Mom!!  He said I was so so so sweet!  Wasn't he so excited?!"  

Dec 17: Leave some money in an envelope and tape it to a vending machine to surprise someone with a free drink/snack.

I had wanted to do this in a place were it might go to the best use (like the hospital, nursing home, or library) but our trip to the mall to finish up Christmas shopping gave us the opportunity so we took it.

Dec 18:  Put extra diapers at a baby changing station for any moms who might need them!

It's happened to me on more than one occasion, and I remember the time I was at Von Maur and SOOOOO glad they had their [free] stock available.  Another time I was at Wal-Mart and not so lucky. . . Hopefully were we left them, they will go to good use :)

Sorry. . . got bad about keeping my camera on me and forgot to take a pic!

Dec 19: Go visit Grandma and Aunt Ann in the nursing home.

Isabelle and Sophia worked on some cards to bring them, also :)  Sophia was here, but she wasn't interested in being part of the picture :P

Dec 20:  We were traveling to OH for a family Christmas that day, so the Angel simply reminded the girls why family is important.  Since they would be receiving lots of gifts over the next several days, she also reminded them about being gracious and grateful for everything they received from others, and to pay close attention to how the gifts that they gave made others feel.

Dec 21:  Donate some warm clothes, hats, and gloves to the local shelter.  

(Sorry. . . no pic!)  I lucked out and a friend was doing a drop-off on Christmas Eve, so we worked together and went through the house to find some items to donate, then dropped them off for delivery.  We had already touched on the less fortunate when we donated the food, but it was good to further explain the needs of the homeless and take another opportunity to answer Isabelle's questions (she certainly has a lot!)

Dec 22:  Animals are our friends, too! Make something for the birds or animals outside to eat and/or enjoy.

This is where we enjoy mothering at it's finest.  We still haven't followed through on this task, so we have it on the back-burner to finish up later this week.  3 family Christmas's in 3 days and 1 hubby with the flu. . . hopefully the birds don't start bombing our house :P

Dec 23: Bring snacks to the local fire station.

We had a baking freezing and spent almost 5 hours baking for the firemen and for our Christmas party on Christmas Eve.  What a mess!!

Dec 24:  The Angel talked about Christmas, remembering why we celebrate the holiday as Christians.  I believe Jesus would find it important to understand and accept all types of people (race, religion, culture) and be open to other's ideas and opinions.  So we took this opportunity to touch on Hanukkah.  (Today is not only Christmas Eve, but happens to be the 8th and last day of Hanukkah!) We had made a menorah on day 1, and we read books, watched some prayers online, and I showed her how they lights the candles each night.

This month has been pretty hectic, but it has been great to see the girls grow and learn from the experience the angel gave us.  It WAS a lot of work for all of us, but it was great to have something that pushed us to do better and try harder.  I'm undecided if I'll use the angel next year. . . I still have mixed feelings about adding another trick/lie to the Christmas scheme.  I'm thinking about using an advent calendar with slips of paper in it with good deeds instead of the typical candy treats. . . and setting the angel on top as a reminder.  But that's now 365 days away. . . we shall see!!

Merry Merry Merry Christmas, everyone!!!

Closing Shop - Weaning

I don't need or want to make this a long, drawn out post.  But it seemed like a Facebook status wouldn't quite cut it, so I did want to say or do SOMETHING.

For 5 years and 5 months, I have been either pregnant or nursing (and at times, both).  After much deliberation, many sleepless nights (not always by choice), and careful consideration, I decided that it was time to wean S.  I was starting to become bitter about the situation, my lack of sleep, and the breastfeeding relationship in general, and that's why I decided it was time to start initiating the process.    The American Academy of Family Physicians says that "breastfeeding beyond the first year offers considerable benefits to mother and child, and should continue as long as mutually desired.". . . Well. . .  It was definitely no longer "mutually desired".  I'm sad and glad and having lots of mixed emotions.   Guilt.  Joy.  Denial.  More guilt.  Anxiety.  Fear.  Guilt.  Excitement.  Emotions that I have to presume any parent who hasn't been in the same or similar situation wouldn't understand. . .  but regardless, I'm there.  So I just wanted to send a huge shout out and thank you to all of you who have been supportive over the years.  Who are supportive and encouraging, even if you DON'T fully get it or understand.  Who back me up.  I know there aren't many moms out there who breastfeed past 1 year, let alone past 2 years.  (In Indiana, only 16.5% were still breastfeeding at 12 months according to the CDC's 2013 data.  They don't even bother to collect anything past that).  But then again, I know several who make it to the 3rd year.  But alas, let's end with this, from www.parentingsquad.com:

Curious why some mothers choose to breastfeed an older child? It's because...

Because the Experts Recommend It

1. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) explicitly states that "mothers should be encouraged to breastfeed through the first year and beyond."

2. The AAP also says that "there is no upper limit on the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychological or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the 3rd year of life or longer."

2. The World Health Organization recommends "continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complimentary foods up to two years of age or beyond."

3. According to the president of the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine, the "average age at weaning ranges anywhere from six months to five years."

4. The American Academy of Family Physicians says that "breastfeeding beyond the first year offers considerable benefits to mother and child, and should continue as long as mutually desired."

5. Former Surgeon General Dr. Antonia Novella is quoted as saying: "It's the lucky baby, I feel, who continues to nurse until he's two."

6. UNICEF recommends that "Optimal infant and young child feeding means that mothers are empowered to ... continue to breastfeed for two years or more."

7. In The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, La Leche League International states that "if given the opportunity, most babies will breastfeed until they naturally outgrow the need."

Because It Benefits Baby

8. A toddler's immune system isn't fully developed, and the antibodies in human milk provide extra protection from illnesses such as cold, flu, and ear infection.

9. Breastfeeding protects against dehydration — many toddlers who won't eat or drink when ill stay hydrated through nursing.

10. Continued breastfeeding results in fewer symptoms for toddlers who suffer from asthma and allergies.

11. Studies have shown that a longer duration of breastfeeding may lead to increased IQ scores and cognitive development.

12. Breastfeeding provides comfort before and after surgery and other medical procedures.

13. Human milk does not lose nutritional value after children reach a certain age. Picky toddler eaters continue to receive essential vitamins and nutrients from breastfeeding.

14. Children who are breastfed longer have a lower risk of obesity.

15. Breastfeeding protects against death — one study found that children in developing countries who were not breastfeeding between 12 and 36 months of age were 3.5 times more likely to die.

16. Breastfeeding promotes proper oral and speech development.

17. Breastfeeding provides protection during natural disasters — a mother who is still lactating can feed her child safely during emergency situations when food, water, and formula are unavailable.

Because It Benefits Mom

18. Breastfeeding significantly reduces reduces a woman's risk of breast cancer. According toKellymom.com, "studies have found a significant inverse association between duration of lactation and breast cancer."

19. Breastfeeding lowers a mother's risk of uterine, ovarian, and endometrial cancer.

20. Women who breastfeed longer have a reduced incidence of type 2 diabetes.

21. Breastfeeding longer reduces a mother's risk of developing cardiovascular disease.

22. Mothers who breastfeed longer often lose more weight.

23. In some cases, breastfeeding leads to a delayed return of fertility, and acts as a form of natural birth control for mothers.

Because It Makes Life Easier

24. Breastfeeding tames toddler tantrums. It's a great discipline tool for parents because it calms and soothes small children who have become overly emotional.

25. You don't have to worry if you forget to pack a snack or a sippy cup — a snack is always ready to go at a moment's notice.

26. Breastfeeding a toddler promotes independence. A child who nurses until he is ready to stop is often more secure and independent than one who does not.

27. Breastfeeding a toddler ensures quality bonding and snuggling time for mother and child.

28. Nursing can make bedtime and naptime easier, as many mothers find that breastfeeding puts toddlers to sleep in mere minutes.

29. Continued breastfeeding makes toddlers easier travel companions — nursing on an airplane keeps them quiet and happy.

30. Breastfeeding provides instant comfort for the scrapes and boo-boos of early childhood.

Because It's NORMAL

31. According to the research of anthropologist Kathryn Dettwyler, the natural age of weaning for humans from a biological perspective would be between 2.5 and 7 years.

32. Breastfeeding a toddler is normal throughout most of the world. Dettwyler's research indicates that the worldwide average age of weaning is between 3 and 4 years of age.

33. Negative social attitudes force many U.S. women to nurse their toddlers privately and often secretly, so there are many more breastfeeding toddlers than we probably realize.

The Benefits Are Clear

Breastfeeding a toddler — or even breastfeeding at all — isn't the right choice for every mother. But as a society, we need to support the women who choose to nurse past infancy, because the nutritional, immunological, and emotional benefits of doing so are abundantly clear.

Let it Go

"Let It Go".

Oh. . . anyone with a girl (or even CHILD) between 2-14 has probably heard that phrase 1,000 times since "Frozen" came out last Thanksgiving.  But this post is totally unrelated.  (Sorry)

Yesterday I went shopping for some misc supplies to start getting my home photography studio set up.  I've had a bean bag chair that was needing extra fill and happened to notice a huge (HUUUUGE) bag for only $10, so I snatched it.  

I'm sure you've figured out by now what happened with that bag of bean bag fill.

It happened so quickly.  I thought, "Oh, I'll just fill it up really quickly before nap time."

I opened it.  B came over to "help".  Once squeeze on that giant plastic bomb and we had tiny, electro-charged little styrofoam balls EVERYWHERE.

Ok. . . perhaps I could've -- or should've -- just stopped there.  It was obviously going to get very messy, very quickly.

Most moms know and understand that "point" you reach at times like this.  When things go from "OMG, what just happened?" to "NO!!! STOP!!! DON'T LET IT HAPPEN!" to "OH. . . WHAT THE HELL. . . "

As the balls flowed out onto the floor, I started to tell Isabelle not to touch them and to go in the other room.  But I stopped myself.  I imagined how exciting they must be -- even better than bubble wrap!!!  It was like snow. . . that didn't make you cold!!  And *look* -- they stick to you like leeches!!

I'm honestly dilutional enough that I thought to myself, "Oh, what a great science lesson on static electricity".  Ha, as if we haven't had that lesson every day since winter began and we set off sparks just by walking through the house in our slippers before touching the handle on the garage door!

So. . . I just let it go.  I let them play and be kids.  When I was grimacing as they began throwing it in the air and stomping it into the next room. . . and then down the hall. . . and into the kitchen. . . I let it go.  I watched and laughed.

AND THEN I (with some more "help" from B)cleaned up tiny styrofoam balls for the next hour.  And I'm still finding them over 48 hours later.  They.  Are.  EVERYWHERE!!!!

Kids and Pets

Originally I started this post just to post about B's new pet fish (more later).  But between the time that I took the pictures to today, things have changed and I just wanted to address pets in general.  

(Later already). . . So -- B got a pet fish.  :)  I sent out a massive, possibly somewhat obnoxious message to all of our family before her birthday with a list of things she wanted, and my sister jumped on the "pet fish" item.  Her oldest son was only 2 when I bought him his first pet fish, so it was her turn :)

Once the craziness from the day (birthday party) died down, we got the fish settled.  B loves her. . . she promptly decided to name her "Sandy". . . which Lee thinks is from "Finding Nemo", and I'm starting to think it's from the Starfish on "Jake and the Neverland Pirates". . . but regardless, Sandy is well loved.  

She started her first night in her new
home on B's night stand.  I may or may not have failed to mention the fish to my husband (who had left for work when it was gifted to her). . . and Sandy was quickly dumped over in the morning by our youngest daughter while B and I were at Sunday school.  Luckily, despite a rather long time she spend out of water on our rug. . . Sandy somehow survived.  She has since moved to a few other locations, but is finally resting peacefully on B's build-in shelves in her bedroom.  Down far enough to see without a stool, but high enough to keep from getting knocked over again!

 The most exciting part of the girls day seems to be when it's Sandy's feeding time.  Between feeding the dogs and feeding the fish, for whatever reason they are obsessed.  A relative of our posted a clipping recently on their facebook page that had chores for children, and of them listed feeding the pets.  What a great thing for them to do!  And a great way to teach them responsibility for others.  So now I'm going to change the subject around a little and reminisce.  Maybe go off on a bit of a tangent.

Just a few days ago, we lost or pet rabbit, "Kitty".   We got her when she was just a wee little baby in 2007.  I've always loved cats, but since my husband is allergic I settled on a rabbit.  We litter box trained her -- she was great with our boxer-mix and could roam around our house when we were around to supervise.  I trained her to target on a pole and sit-up on command.  She tolerated the many additions to our family in the years to follow. . . from Sierra (our tri-pawed pit-mix) to our children.  She was sweet, tolerant, and darn cute!!  But as the family grew, we were able to take her out of her cage less and less.  Regardless, the girls ADORED her.  Every time we would leave the house, S would squeal and poke at her through her cage to say "hello" and "goodbye".  Luckily, they've both taken her loss really well.  B had LOTS of questions, and I'm still not sure she fully comprehends what has happened, but it's something we're talking about and teaching her more about every day.  "Maybe we can give her some carrots to feel better and be alive!" takes some explaining to work through.

 There are MANY, MANY, many days when I am grumbling over the trouble that our pets cause.  You have to feed them, clean them, train them, wash them. . . deal with them barking when your baby is napping and stealing their crackers when they are awake.  BUT (**BUT**) pets are still important.

  Pets teach our children about unconditional love.  No matter how bad your day has been, they always are there for you.  A dog will pretty much always want to play, always welcome a snuggle, and will always be there to sit with you when you need company.  Everyone knows petting a dog lowers stress and anxiety, and I even read a study recently that showed that 40% of 5 year olds said that when they felt sad, angry, afraid, or had a secret to share that they would go to their pet. :)

Not only that, but with a pet it helps children understand what it means to have someone rely on them for their health and happiness.  It's teaches empathy.  In some cases, it teaches consequences like "If you aren't careful with the fish, it will die!"(ahhh!) or more light-hearted: "If you leave our your toy, the dog might chew it up".  Even just in the short time we've had Sandy, it's help B understand what it means to have commitment.  With Kitty, she's just recently learned about the Circle of Life. . . which has been hard, but so much easier for me to explain now, instead of after loosing a close friend or relative.

Pets are fun.  They're entertaining.  They have so much more of a purpose than you originally think.  So if you have the space, time and love in your heart. . . go adopt a pet in need!!!