Target Nurse-In

This isn't something I would normall post on my blog, but this woman response to people's negative comments about Target's Nurse-In (this morning and 10am) was so perfect and so exactly what I think and feel, I felt like I had to share.

"Meg Hower:

Because I am a very modest person, prior to my son's birth, I would have generally agreed with those who felt that at a minimum moms nursing in public should cover up or find a discreet location, or maybe just pump a bottle. I was OK with breastfeeding in public, but it made me feel squeamish and I felt like at least mothers should try to be "modest."

Now that I have my son, and have nursed him for a year, I so wish that others could get the same education that I have gained by experience. I was wrong before, not because I was a bad person or baised against mothers, but because I was just ignorant of what was involved.

When my son was very young (first few months), I at first tried to nurse him only in private rooms when we had family over or were visiting. I quickly found that 45 minutes separate from the rest of the world, repeated every 1.5 hours, all day, every day, was enough to drive me out of my mind. I started nursing with a cover when relatives were visiting. I was a bit uncomfortable with it, but it was better than the insanity I felt creeping into my exhausted mind after so many days of self-inflicted "solitary confinement."

Even though I had started nursing with family present, I was still too uncomfortable to nurse at a public place. So I tried to pump bottles to bring with me. Anyone who has never done that just does NOT understand what it entails: buy expensive pump, buy 10,000 accessories, sterilize all tiny components, find 30 minutes when you have nothing else to do and baby is not screaming in order to pump (ha!), realize you can't pump enough in one sitting so repeat multiple times in order to produce one bottle, spend 15 minutes sterilizing all components each time, realize you pumped too close to a feeding so now you don't have enough milk for baby to nurse, freak out and give baby some formula (wait wasn't the point to avoid formula??), eventually go out shopping for a 1 hour trip (which is shorter than the time spent preparing that damn bottle by about 200%). Then endure 2-3 days of baby biting your nipple when he/she nurses because they've switched to a shallow latch from the bottle.

Didn't take long for me to say screw it and, when truly desperate, try to find places to nurse as discreetly as possible in public. As a result I've endured the nastiest most unsanitary back rooms that no reasonable adult would ever think to eat a sandwich in, let alone feed an infant in. And often that was only after 10 tense minutes with a screaming infant while I ran around the store begging an associate to tell me where a room was that I could please use.

These things that seem so easy to suggest - pump a bottle before you go out! just nurse in the bathroom! - they are huge HUGE burdens for nursing moms. What you may think is a reasonable suggestion, I have learned the hard way, is in fact a barrier to breastfeeding. And those need to be broken down. The top health officials and medical experts and even political leaders in our country are calling for measures to reduce barriers to breastfeeding. THAT is why it is important for mothers to push back against what is truly a social barrier to breastfeeding. Otherwise it stacks the odds against moms who are already struggling with the knowledge of how easy it would be to just say screw it and grab a bottle of formula, to the detriment of their child's health, in order to placate a stranger's perceived discomfort."

Amen sista!!! To see the original comment and article, go here

Potty Training!

I can't believe my baby girl is almost 2. Holy cow. And as many of you know, #2 (as in BABY #2) will be here in another 5+ months. Sometimes between now and then, we're hoping to get Isabelle not only potty trained, but into her big girl bed.

First, we're starting with the potty. And you know me, I've been reading up on potty training strategies. You know how I LOOOOVE to label everything. My sister already seems to have a good technique down, and then when I found one similar I was convinced. So - hopefully - starting on Wednesday we will be using Julie Fellom's Diaper Free Toddlers program and have Isabelle potty trained in 3 days or less. (Sounds too good to be true, right?) First, being "potty trained" doesn't mean Isabelle will be accident free. I'm sure she'll have some accidents. Probably lots. It's more of a "success" with potty training. I'm sure for months I will be helping her with the process, and that's normal and okay.

Fellom recommends using this program between 15-28 months, so hopefully we are right where we should be. Isabelle is definitely showing signs that she is ready; she wants to sit on the potty, likes to flush the toilet, pretend to wipe her bottom, doesn't like to be wear diapers and will potty in her diaper in private.

So here's how it works: This is a bare-bottomed method, so for 3 months after we start, Isabelle will be naked below the waist when she is home (Santa brought her some leg warmers to help keep her cozy) and will only wear loose fitting pants when she is out and about. According to Fellom, diapers and training pants undo the progress you make in potty training. When they pee, they need to feel it, and sometimes just feeling the cloth against their bottom (even if it's just panties) makes them more likely to have accidents. Plus, one reason the method is supposed to work so well is because kids this age love to be naked. They don't give a hoot about potty training. Their goal is to be naked and diaper-free, so getting rid of the diapers is incentive to potty train.

For the first 3 days, our schedule will be focused on potty training. During day 1, we will be home with Isabelle all day (which, as a busy-body, this is like torture to me, by the way). Usually the first few times you have to catch them peeing (or if your luck is bad, pooping) and you exclaim, "You're peeing!!! You're peeing!!! Let's go potty!!" and whisk them away to the toilet. We will have a special celebratory "potty dance" to celebrate Isabelle's success. Anytime she has a "hit" in the potty (even if it's just a drop), we'll do our potty dance, give high-fives, make life all happy-happy. :) Usually (SUPPOSEDLY) after 10-12 hits, kids usually get it and start to use the potty independently.

Accidents are okay, but we're not supposed to SAY, "It's okay." (Cuz. . . well it's not.) Instead, we just say in a mildly disappointed voice, "Poop/pee goes in the potty" and help her clean it up. But of course, we will not yell at her or shame her for having accidents: they WILL happen.

Before nap and bed, we will tell Isabelle to go potty (not supposed to ask b/c there is a good change they'll say no) and then diaper her for sleep.

Day 2 is pretty much the same, but we can leave the house for 1 hour AFTER she has just peed on the potty (to link using the potty with leaving the house). As I mentioned, when she is out, she will only wear loose-fitting clothing - no diapers, training pants, or underwear.

Day 3 we get 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon. Each time, using the potty just before leaving the house.

After the 3 days is up, we are supposed to expect Isabelle to usually take herself to the potty when she needs to go but may still need some help. She will remain naked below the waist for the next 3 months and only wear loose fitted clothing while out. After 3 months, underpants are "allowed" (TeeHeeHee).

So, that's it! Wish us luck!!

Christmas Reasons for the Season

My brother-in-law and sister LOVE to mock to me, "Jesus is the reason for the season"!

Ok. Yes. Christmas is, in part, to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. I am Catholic, I believe in Jesus, and I was raised to believe that he is the son of God, etc, etc, etc. I think having that emphasis for children is important. It's definately more about that than about the gifts, the candy, or the pretty Christmas tree.

BUT keep in mind, that is all a belief. They call it mythology for a reason.

In my wonderful wonderful fabulous group of women I am a part of (my online Toasted and

Crunchy Mommas that are all AWESOME) all come from very diverse backgrounds. Atheists to Hard-Core Christians. Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, Philippians, you name it. Ranging from 22-40 years old, this group is the shit. So around Christmas, lots of interesting topics are brought up. So it got me to thinking what I believe "Christmas" is about, and what I want to teach Isabelle.

Christmas IS about Jesus's birth. (We covered that already). BUT. . .

Christmas is not just about December 25th. It's about the entire month of December. People (argue with me on this if you want) are more giving. More patient. More kind. It's about the spirit of the season that brings families and friends come together to let everyone know how much they care. Mearly saying it's about Jesus and nothing else is. . . well. . . just plain silly.

It's about Santa. Yes. We do Santa. To me, Santa represents the spirit of Christmas. Some parents think they are lying to their children, it promotes consumerism, is not part of the original Christmas story. . . I couldn't disagree more. It is okay, and IMPORTANT, for children to live out and explore

fantasies. Santa Claus, Cinderella, Fairies and Unicorns. It's healthy. It encourages them to be bold and dare to dream. At some point, many of us loose the ability to immerse ourselves in such fantasy and embrace stress and reality instead. I loved the idea of Santa growing up, and I still do. Parents will argue that Christmas can still be magical without him, but I argue that it is NOT as nearly (even by 1/2) as magical. In any stretch of the imagination. I can't imagine never writing Santa a letter or leaving him cookies on Christmas Eve. I can't imagine being fluffed of the idea that presents would magically appear under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. I would've had no anticipation sneaking down the stairs at 5am wondering if Santa had come. I wouldn't have eagerly looked out my car door window every Christmas Eve coming home from Grandma's hoping I would catch a glimpse of Santa and his reindeer flying through the night sky. Ugh, how depressing! We are SO doing Santa. We will let Isabelle believe what she wants to believe and not discourage her imagination. I don't see a point in pushing a belief on her (i.e. religion) and discouraging her own beliefs - fairytale or not. "And when she has lost her belief, of course we will tell her the truth in the most gentle and sincere way possible.

"Christmas" is also about recognizing other religions and beliefs. I really want Isabelle to know about what else is out there. Of course, I'll admit this is going to take some research on my part. Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim. . . exposure and knowledge is important. I really would like to get a Menorah next year and start new traditions in our family.

Not to be negative, but just a reminder too that Christmas was originally a rather violent and sinister pagan holiday. Just sayin'. . . so Christmas isn't JUST about "Christ". It was way deeper than that.