Gender Roles

Wow, the more I parent, the more I start to realize how many things annoy me!

I can't stand it when I hear someone tell a little boy, "That's for girls!". Or like-wise, when someone tells a little girl she can't do something because she's a girl.

I do believe some things ARE nature. Scientifically boys statically stronger and better with their hands and machines. They see things better three-dimensionally (hence their obsession with video games). Girls are naturally more nurturing and thoughtful. But saying one this is for boys and another is for girls just peeves me off.

Inadvertently and sometimes purposefully, many parents treat their children of different sexes differently. When a boy takes a hard fall, some parents are more likely to encourage them to toughen up (even if it was

obviously painful). Whereas a girl may be coddled, soothed, and reassured. Boys are usually rough-housed a little more than their "fragile" counterparts. The genders are dressed in specific colors and offered a different set of toys. I giggle to myself a little when someone will say what a "boy" their kid is when it is obviously he is being treated in a stereotypical boy role. And that's fine. What really irks me, is when

parents try to discourage something their child finds interest in, because they don't think it's gender appropriate.

A little boy playing dress up. A girl digging in the mud with tractors. Your son wanting a play kitchen for Christmas while Suzie wants a set of Legos. Let your child take interest in whatever it is that excites them. Parental attitudes towards their children have a strong impact on the child's developing sense of self and self-esteem.

By limiting their opportunities and ignoring their talents, you are only perpetuating unfairness on our society. Studies have shown that children from androgynous homes have higher self esteem and healthier love relationships. Their children develop a sense of worth. It's about following their lead and supporting who your child wants to be, not who YOU want them to be.

I hope that Isabelle can grow up as gender neutral as possible. In our house, we have dolls and trucks. Kitchens and Kick Balls. Dresses and Overalls. Daddy loves to play rough with her, and I love sitting and cuddling. When she takes interest in something, I want it to be because it's what she is honestly interested in, not because she feels like it's what she's supposed to do or what mom and dad wants her to do. Right now, she loves to accessorize, dress up, and check herself out in the mirror. She also prefers her trucks and legos over her dolls and kitchen. Really, I just want her to be happy.

All of my babies

A friend of my recently had a post on facebook about his trouble finding a TRULY pet friendly place to live. Sadly, many apartment complexes and landlords are what I call "breedists"; people are are against certain breeds because of their presumed attitude as to how that breed is. So a pet can live there, as long as they're not on "the list".

This was the best comic I could find. . . I feel like we are back in the 1950's, with signs up as to what breed of dogs can crap where. Or doggie day-care with a sign up that reads, "No Mutts Allowed".

I'm especially bitter and sensitive to this breedism because I adopted two of "those" breeds. You know, the so-called mean ones. Cierra is a pit bull terrier mix and McKenna is a boxer mix.

Here is a picture of Cierra and Isabelle when she was only a few weeks old. She looks vicious, doesn't she? Funny thing is, I know of more people who have been bit by small bred dogs (aka "shit dogs") than large ones. And I personally find a yippie bark much more obnoxious than a big dogs bark. But maybe that's just me. But really, I have a hard time understand how a "bully breed" could be worse than a little Chihuahua or a cat. Have you seen the damage a cat can do to furniture?! And geeze. . . they've all got teeth. And bladders. And. . . other things.

I have so many people that give me shocked looks when they find out I have a pit bull and a baby. "Aren't you scared she'll hurt her?" Umm, who would do the hurting here? 'Cuz I'm certain B has done plenty of damage to poor Cierra. (Some pokes here, a tail pulling there. . . you know, typical toddler stuff).

I take pet ownership very seriously. Just ask my husband. And besides, we don't OWN them. . . we adopted them. They are our babies, our family. Sure, having 2 dogs, 1 rabbit, and 1 toddler is hard work. Some days are exhausting. But. . . some days are amazing. B really loves them, and they are great with her. They are her playmates, and truly our best friends.

So, why do they have such a bad rap? (Pit bulls in particular)

Pits were bred for their fighting ability, so people assume that that's all they do. But many pit bulls work as ambassadors for their breed, working as therapy dogs and completing search and rescue for local police and fire stations. They can do so much more than what people want to believe. Any dog who gets proper socialization as a puppy is likely to grow up into a dog who is great with other dogs. And people fail to realize that pit bulls were ALSO bred to be trustworthy and friendly towards people. Even fighting dogs lived in their owner's homes and were nicknamed "nursemaid's dog" because they were so reliable with young children. They are naturally loyal, loving companions.

Yes, pit bulls do tend to have an intimidating appearance, which is appealing to people looking for personal protection or a macho status. Unfortunately, some people in turn will actually ENCOURAGE their dog to act aggressively to maintain that tough image. And when they do bite, their strong jaws tend to do more damage because of their size and strength. That coupled with media eager for entertainment means that a pit pull bite is far more likely to draw media attention. No one wants to hear about a Golden retriever biting; pit pulls are just more exciting and get better coverage. Come to think of it, same goes for dolphins and sharks! Hmmm, how interesting.

Pit Bull Terriers love attention. They can never spend enough time with you. Cierra wants to be where we are every second of every day. When we have company over, keeping her in a separate room is out of the question because it would completely destroy her. She LOVES company. They are known to be able to adapt to any lifestyle. . . as long as you are there.

They also are major cuddlers. Cierra has mastered the art of finding the warmest, most comfortable spot to nap (and would prefer it to be on you). They are surprisingly clean because of their short fur and lack of an undercoat. If you're looking for a forever friend. . . maybe you should look into adopting a pit. . .